


Good Omens Mermaids (Crack)

by Yeeto_Cheeto



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: #Aziraphale, #Aziraphale and Crowley turn into mermaids, #Crowley, #Dolphins, #Ineffable husbands, #Mermaid au, #Mermaids, #Messing with Gabriel and Beelzebub, #crack, #crack fic, #good omens, #mermaid, #trash, Gen, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-17 05:20:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20615642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeeto_Cheeto/pseuds/Yeeto_Cheeto
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley are bored, so they miracle themselves into mermaid to go swimming with a pod of dolphins. While they are swimming with the dolphins, they spot Gabriel and Beelzebub fishing and decide to mess with them.





	1. Dolphins. That’s My Point.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on my wattpad account, “mermaid-klance.” This is complete trash, I’m sorry. This is also the first fanfic I have ever published on this website. I was noticing a lack of mermaid fics in this fandom so I decided to do something about it.

It was a peaceful morning, to say the least. Aziraphale was in his bookshop, reading a book on the couch and sipping hot cocoa out of his favorite mug. Without warning, Crowley burst through the door.

”Angel!” exclaimed Crowley. “I’m bored. Let’s go do something!”

”What do you have in mind?” asked Aziraphale. He calmly took another sip of hot cocoa.

Crowley thought for a minute. He hadn’t actually considered what he wanted to do with Aziraphale yet. He just wanted to hang out with him. Suddenly, a strange yet wonderful thought entered Crowley’s mind. “How about we go swimming with dolphins?” he suggested.

“Dolphins?“ Aziraphale inquired. 

“Yes,” Crowley responded. “Dolphins. That’s my point.” 

“Oh, why not?” Aziraphale finally said. “I suppose it could be fun.”

After about an hour of speeding, some light bickering, and a few laughs, the Bentley pulled up onto the rocky England beach. Crowley and Aziraphale exited the vehicle and ran towards the ocean. That’s when they realized they had forgotten something important.

”Oh dear,” Aziraphale sighed. 

“What is it?” Crowley asked with a slight look of concern.

“We forgot to bring our bathing suits!” 

“Pfft,” said Crowley, sticking out his snake tongue. “Who needs bathing suits? We can just leave our clothes in the car. We’re the only ones here, after all.”

After they had left their clothes in the car, they ran back toward the ocean. Crowley was about to enter the ocean when Aziraphale shouted, “Wait!”

Crowley stopped, turned to face Aziraphale, and sighed. “What is it this time?”

“I just had the most splendid idea!” Aziraphale exclaimed.

”Did you now?” said Crowley.

“Yes,” replied Aziraphale. “You know how you inspired our good friend Hans back in the day to add some of the more... gruesome parts in ‘The Little Mermaid?’”

Crowley’s yellow eyes widened. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Well, if you think I’m suggesting that we miracle ourselves into mermaids, then yes!” said Aziraphale enthusiastically.

“Let’s do it!”

And so, Aziraphale and Crowley ran out into the ocean. With a couple of waves of their hands, they were mermaids.


	2. Actually Finding a Pod of Dolphins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Azirpahale actually find a pod of dolphins.

Aziraphale and Crowley were swimming around, and overall just enjoying the mermaid life. Aziraphale's tail was mostly a shimmering white, but it had a few blue scales here and there. Crowley's tail was a dazzling black, but it had a few red scales scattered throughout.

Crowley picked up a seashell that was lying on the ocean floor and yeeted it towards Aziraphale. Aziraphale yeeted the shell back at Crowley. They then proceeded to yeet the shell back and forth, creating a game of catch.

It was during their game of catch that Aziraphale heard a squeaking noise. "Did you hear that, Crowley?" he asked.

"Hear what?" 

"That squeaking noise," Aziraphale replied. Suddenly, a pod of about five dolphins appeared behind Crowley, knocking him off balance. They swam over to Aziraphale and cuddled up to him, squeaking playfully and demanding attention.

"Well, hello there!" Aziraphale chuckled, petting the dolphins. "Oh, Crowley, aren't they the cutest?"

"Sure," said Crowley, crossing his arms. "Whatever." He was still slightly sour at the dolphins for knocking him over.

Crowley and Aziraphale swam with the pod of dolphins for about an hour. It was fun, leaping out of the water and diving back down into the murky depths once again. The dolphins were so happy to have met some new playmates. Crowley warmed up to the dolphins, and, although they gravitated more towards Aziraphale, he found himself growing quite fond of the little creatures.

Eventually, Crowley spotted a boat in the distance. It was a small boat, with two figures on it. As they approached the miniature watercraft, the figures became more clear. Crowley gasped as he leaped out of the water. 

"Aziraphale!" Crowley shouted.

"What is it, Crowley?" asked Aziraphale, ceasing his swimming. The dolphins continued leaping in and out of the water, leaving him and Crowley behind.

"You see that little boat up there?" Crowley said, pointing towards the boat.

"What about it?"

"That's Gabriel and Beelzebub on that boat," Crowley said, somewhat frantically.

"What?" said Aziraphale in disbelief. "It can't be."

"I'm not making this up, I swear," said Crowley.

"Crowley, you're being ridiculous," Aziraphale said.

"Would I lie to you?" Crowley inquired.

"I..." started Aziraphale. "I suppose not. Not on purpose, at least." 

"Good, because I have an idea," Crowley said with a devilish smirk on his face.


	3. Messing With Gabe and Buzz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azirpahale and Crowley mess with Gabriel and Beelzebub.

Aziraphale and Crowley swam underwater towards Gabriel and Beelzebub's boat. Once they were about 10 feet away from the boat, they looked at each other and nodded. They were ready to put their plan into action.

Gabriel and Beelzebub were fishing with regular old fishing poles. Nobody had taught either of them about deep sea fishing, or using nets. 

"Bee," said Gabriel. 

"What izzzzz it?" Beelzebub said with a hint of annoyance in their voice.

"We have been sitting here for hours, and we haven't caught anything. Don't you think that it's about time we give up? We could... go for a jog or something instead."

"How dare you doubt me!" Beelzebub snapped.

It was at this moment that Crowley grabbed Beelzebub's fishing line, and Aziraphale grabbed Gabriel's fishing line. The pair yanked on the fishing lines with all of their might.

"Beelzebub!" shouted Gabriel as he struggled to reel in his catch. "I've got something!"

"Azzz have I!" exclaimed Beelzebub, also attempting to reel in whatever it was they had caught.

Crowley and Aziraphale let go of the fishing lines. Gabriel and Beelzebub finished reeling in their lines, but came up empty-handed. A confused Gabriel and Beelzebub exchanged glances.

"Where did it go?" Gabriel asked.

"Bring it back!" demanded Beelzebub.

Crowley and Aziraphale snickered and high-fived each other. Gabriel and Beelzebub re-cast their fishing lines. Crowley and Aziraphale waited a few seconds before grabbing onto the lines once more. They both tugged hard.

"It's back!" shouted Gabriel.

"Quick, reel it in!" Beelzebub screamed. Gabriel and Beelzebub frantically attempted to reel in their fishing lines, but to no avail. Whatever it was they had caught was too heavy.

Crowley and Aziraphale decided to put the other part of their plan into action. They began swimming as quickly as they could, still holding onto the fishing lines, and dragging Gabriel and Beelzebub's boat behind them.

"It's moving the boat!" Gabriel screamed.

"I can zzzsee that!" Beelzebub screeched.

"Whatever it is we caught, it must be huge!" Gabriel shouted.

"Zzzstop zzstating the obviouzzz!" Beelzebub shrieked.

Aziraphale and Crowley swam so fast that Gabriel and Beelzebub tumbled over onto each other. They clutched onto each other for dear life and screamed.

After about a half an hour of messing with (torturing) Gabriel and Beelzebub, Aziraphale and Crowley left the little boat right back where it had started. 

Aziraphale and Crowley smiled at each other and at a job well done.


	4. Going Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley go back home.

After a couple more hours of swimming around, hanging out with each other, and being mermaids, Aziraphale and Crowley decided it was time to head back home.

They left the water, and somewhat solemnly miracled themselves back into their usual forms. They put their clothes back on and climbed into the Bentley. 

Once they arrived at Aziraphale's bookshop (since they both decided they would crash there for the night), they flopped onto Aziraphale's bed and fell asleep immediately. They dreamt of dolphins, mermaids, and each other.

The End.


End file.
